Nightmare!!

It's been 17days our angels left us. But I still cant get over things. I miss them badly. Wish my angels can knw how much I misses them.
17days had past. And every single night I hv difficulty in sleeping. I stoped taking those sleeping medication( dormicum). Afraid I'll get addicted to it. Every night I struggle to sleep and when I doze off, I get NIGHTMARE!!! I gets up in btw with those scary feeling. I'm juz afraid to sleep every night. How am I going to over come this???
My girlfriends and in laws are calling me evey single day. I don't answer to any phone calls and I dont reply their text msg's. I just want to b alone. I knw talking to them would make me more emotional. I just need more time to b my normal self again.
Poor DH, he's down with bad cough, sore throat, flu & fever. Usually he needed me the most Wen he is sick. This time. I can't take care of him now. I'm not in the stage to take care of him as I'm not recovered mentally yet. I feel so sorry for him but I'm praying he'll get better and I'll can over come this situation quickly.
I must get back to work early next month. But I'm not ready yet. I might prolong my MC or just take and unpaid leave till mid next month. My life going to change after loosing our pricious babies. I won't b the strong person as I was before. I can't b friendly as I was before & Im going to live my life with full of fear.
DH is trying to think positive. He went to the fertility clinic last week. He wanted to see Dato.P and discuss the next plan for us. Dato.P, was very upset Wen he heard about our lost. Dato.P said maybe my uterus can't cope with twins. Maybe I should try with single embryo transfer in future. Dato.P asked to wait for 6months before we try again for the FET. They wants me to mentally and physically b prepared before the FET. So DH got home and delivered this msg to me. I knw he wanted to tell this to me to keep me really positive. But seriously it made me felt even worst. I'm juz so scared tat would this happen again for the next pregnancy??? I really want a baby, but I can't imagine going tru all this pain again. I'm juz so scared. Maybe as time goes, I'll b able to make a good choice for ourself.